Step 23: "The Takeover"

I vividly remember a phone conversation I had just about this time last year with a then TEP student who told me that she was about to begin her 2 week instructional "takeover" of her student teaching placement. Frankly, I was in awe. The idea of fully planning for and teaching a class for two whole weeks sounded like a mammoth task that I could not imagine taking on.

Well, I'm here tonight to tell you that my 2 weeks are done! Actually, I finished my "takeover" last week before spring break ... and to be perfectly honest, I have just needed a bit of time to process the experience before writing about it.

Initially, I have to admit, the first week of my “takeover” felt pretty anticlimactic. Now, with some distance, I believe I felt this way for a couple of reasons: 1) I did gradually build up my responsibilities in the classroom, so when the "takeover" began I was not doing anything that I had never done before that week - I just did more of each thing; but also because 2) the reality of a “takeover” is not exactly as I once feared it might be. Teaching “full-time” does not exactly mean taking on the daunting responsibility of completely filling every minute of the school day for 10 days; instead, I have learned how teachers build off of existing curricular materials, facilitate independent learning time, and make other skillful, but less active plans that do not require the teacher to be “on the spot” all the time. Furthermore, we were far from alone in preparing what and how to teach during that time. For one thing, we all had material that we needed to cover based on the school’s curriculum scope and sequence. In my case, for example, I began my 2 weeks right at the beginning of the students’ unit on fractions, so naturally I led them through the math book’s lessons much like my classroom mentor would have had she been teaching them during that unit. We also had a great deal of input and support from our seminar instructors, who oversaw the development of our “Integrated Unit”, which acts as our Term IV project (see previous posts for information on Term I, II, and III projects). This unit is meant to give us experience with longer-term planning, and teaching interdisciplinary units in a full class setting. You can explore mine here, by navigating to the Term IV page. As you can see, we have come a long way from planning single subject, small group lessons and yet I really can say that we have built up to this in small enough steps that this task that originally seemed like a mountain became a really surmountable climb!

The opportunity to really be in the teacher role consistently for two weeks straight gave me a great chance to reflect on where I am now, what I’m proud of, and what I still need to work on. A few of my current takeaways include:

·       I have definitely become more comfortable overall standing up in front of the class for a lesson. I have been noticing that I approach each lesson less like a “performance” and more just as a part of my ongoing interactions with my students. I think that this shift has helped me to be more aware of students’ reactions, because I am not just delivering material to them, and to remain more flexible.

·       Speaking of behavior management, think that I am becoming increasingly comfortable with moments of discipline and had a few instances this week when I was particularly happy with the way that I was able to react not out of anger or snap judgment, but instead with firmness but also inquiry into root causes and larger meanings of student misbehavior. That said, one thing that I need to continue working on is establishing and following up on consequences, for while I am comfortable having corrective conversations with students, I don’t really know what to do as the “next step” when I begin to have the same conversations over and over again.

·       Finally, I have definitely noticed a difference in the way I am able to react to small and large “bumps” in my lessons and school days overall. I remember that as recently as in the fall, when I scrambled a set of directions, or had a challenging conversation with a student, I left school feeling the huge weight of my mistake. While I definitely believe I need to take responsibility for my mistakes, I also think that it represents progress for me to now be able shrug off small things such that I can focus on bigger issues.

Thanks for coming along on this journey with me - and please feel free to reach out with any questions or comments you might have if you are thinking about joining next year's TEP cohort! My email is RSarnoff@gse.upenn.edu.

Step 22: The "perfect storm"

 Monday, 3/14

  Losing 1 hour of the weekend
  Darker morning wake up
  Dreary rain
  Cold season
+Monday
________________________
"The perfect storm"


Truly it is not usually any great stretch to "stay positive" in my reflections on this blog. I can honestly and enthusiastically say that I am enjoying my time in the classroom, experiencing real growth as a teacher, and loving the city of Philadelphia. And yet Mondays can be very hard! (And, let's be real, so can Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, or even Fridays...) This term, student teaching really is a full-time job; and along with the fantastic highs of this role, also come daily trials. Today's efforts to get students' heads up off of their desks and their brains focused on math in the late afternoon were particularly tiresome when I, myself, also would have loved a break! In these tough days, my relationships with my Classroom Mentor, Penn Mentor, and friends in my cohort are invaluable. It was actually my fantastic Penn Mentor (a retired teacher who visits me weekly to observe, provide advice, and overall act as my fairy godmother of the program) who pointed out how dramatically the cards were stacked against us yesterday - and yet she provided great solace in my day, both by helping me to strategize ways to engage my students, and also just by lending a caring and compassionate ear to my trials of the day. Similarly, it was comforting to check in with my classmates today and hear that I was not at all alone in feeling "off" yesterday. In fact, I cannot emphasize enough how important sharing the experiences of this whole year with my classmates has been. From quick texts to long library study sessions, they are always there to get me through the tough days and projects, and I couldn't dream of doing it without them!

Step 21: Teacher Networks

I am continually impressed by the number of teacher networks organized in Philadelphia. It is truly inspiring to see how a large community of teachers comes together for funding opportunities, professional development, and even just emotional support. Within the past month, I attended two events, hosted by different groups, but not at all in competition with each other. The first was the PhilaSoup Winter Brunch, where three local teachers presented on projects that they hoped to do with their students, and based on the votes of the attendees, the organizers distributed grant money to enable them! At the event, we also learned about other grant opportunities available to teachers, chatted with teachers from other schools, ate great food, and even got to take home a ream of paper (invaluable to teachers)!

Just this past week I had the cathartic experience of attending a meeting of the Action Research Group. This group, which meets at Penn but is not affiliated with any particular school, serves as a "third space" for teachers to come together to discuss research they are pursuing within their own classrooms. I was drawn to their meeting particularly after a presentation some members did at the Ethnography Forum a few weeks ago that really helped me to understand what teacher research can look like, and how valuable it can be to a classroom (more on this is an upcoming post). The meeting, however, really satisfied not only the researcher side of me, but perhaps even more so the overwhelmed grad student and prospective teacher side because it helped me focus on the "light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak. Many of the current members of the group are TEP graduates from recent years, and seeing them now as teachers, employed, and (despite daily challenges) really loving their jobs, was reinvigorating. They reminded me that each assignment I am doing this term is in service of becoming a better teacher, and that I should focus on doing these things to benefit me, not for the grade etc. This came at an important time, as I turn my attention to my final portfolio assignment. I hope to be able to use this assignment not only to sum up my work from the year for external audiences, but to give myself an opportunity to reflect on all that I have done this year!

Step 20: Advice from professionals

Tonight a panel of generous local principals visited our seminar class to speak about the qualities that they look for when hiring teachers, the things we should consider when seeking a school to work in, as well as other advice for new teachers. Although every conversation that revolves around the job search makes my stomach flip and turn with nerves, I also was encouraged and inspired by their words of advice. As all conversations around being a first year teacher go, this one largely centered around how hard the job is. Much of their advice was about the importance of self-care: "Pay attention to your triggers. Learn to recognize and moderate your responses to them," and "find some time for yourself" they encouraged us. "Be vocal about the support you need, reach out and don't wait until things pile up and you feel like you are drowning." Along with this "real talk," however, they also reminded me why the job is worth the struggle. "You must not forget how powerful you are...you shape children's lives," one said. These are the types of conversations that I hope to check back in with as I begin this challenging career and particularly the rocky first year (or more). I feel lucky to have mentors and classmates to turn to already for support and motivation in tough times, as well as inspiration and celebration in the good moments, too!